Balancing The Demands of Life
In this era, aspirations have become diverse and ambitions have branched out. There are different goals and numerous obligations. One stands before these goals, obstacles, and requirements, choosing to provide care and fulfill duties for the family, to give attention and meet the demands of the spouse, to show respect and fulfill the rights of parents, to maintain friendship and loyalty towards friends, to maintain kinship ties and show kindness to relatives, to uphold commitments and visit neighbors, to give and show compassion to the poor, to dedicate time for seeking sustenance, to pursue knowledge with passion and ambition by attending scholars' lessons, and to have the desire and hope to memorize texts.
With all of this, an aspirational person may find himself perplexed: How can he combine all these scattered acts of goodness?
This requires supplication for the blessing of time and guidance in organizing life's affairs. In the Sharia, there is a principle for combining the requirements of both worldly and religious matters. The Prophet, peace be upon him, said: “Your wife has a right upon you, your visitor has a right upon you, your body has a right upon you” (Agreed upon)1
So give each rightful entity its due and seize the time of your life and the blossoming of your days through various ways of goodness. Open all doors of goodness and allocate time for each of them to draw nearer to Allah with sincere intentions. Make honoring and being dutiful to your parents your foremost concern, without disobedience, for blessings and goodness lie in being close to them
1 Narrated by Al-Bukhari, Book of Fasting, Chapter on the right of the body in fasting, Hadith No. (1975), and Muslim, Book of Fasting, Chapter on the prohibition of perpetual fasting for those who are harmed or miss their rights, Hadith No. (1159), from the narration of Abdullah bin Amr, may Allah be pleased with them both.Achieving balance and moderation has always been one of the objectives of the spiritual masters of the past and will remain so in the future.
But how can we achieve balance when the dunya beckons with its entire attainable splendor, while the Akhira is beyond our realm and seems so distant? What is to be done when what we are told will ensure our salvation seems to be spiritually un-spiritual? What if our Salaat does not comfort; the Qurʾān does not touch the heart? Where is one to turn when du’a, with all its need and anguished complaint, seems hollow? If the seemingly virtuous deeds leave one in unfulfilled apathy, is there a recourse other than pursuing the tangible, albeit fleeting, luxury of life at the expense of the virtuously difficult path that leads to eternal comfort?
Balance, as we intend to attain in life, can be segmented into three complimentary objectives:
- In remaining reasonably steady in an overwhelming situation while traversing an unstable circumstance – Steadiness.
- In applying equal strength, deference and importance to two opposing forces so as to effectively cancel them out and produce an outcome of maintained stability – Stability.
- In knowing that what we take out is reset by what we put back in – Equality.
Islam as exemplified through the Sunnah, the way of life of the Prophet Muhammad , seeks balance in its purest form.
Steadiness:
Allāh equates His Divinely revealed scripture and the clear evidence of its manifest Truth with balance that maintains justice.
The governor of Khorasan, Al-Jarrah ibn `Abd Allah, wrote to the caliph `Umar ibn `Abd al-`Aziz, saying:
“Peace be upon you. The people of Khorasan have become rebellious. They are fit for nothing but the lash and the sword. If the Commander of the Faithful sees fit to allow me to enact such a policy, I will do so.”
`Umar ibn `Abd al-`Aziz responded as follows:
“I have read your letter wherein you mention that the people of Khorasan have become rebellious and are fit for nothing but the lash and the sword, and wherein you seek my permission to enact such a policy. You have lied. What they are fit for is to receive justice and their rights. Enact that among them. And peace to you, too.”
Allāh says:
“Indeed, Allah orders justice and good conduct and giving to relatives and forbids immorality and bad conduct and oppression. He admonishes you that perhaps you will be reminded.”
[Surah An-Nahl, 90]
In contradiction, many who nod their heads at the above as it pertains to social justice, politics and macro scale issues, fail dismally in establishing it in their home, workplace, neighborhoods or mosques. But that is just it. Without individual attempts at justice, the overall balance is eschewed. It starts with you, with me, with our families and community.
Consider the imbalance of closed communities that refuse to acknowledge that domestic violence exists in Muslim homes.
Consider the imbalance of after-school Qurʾān schools where a whack is customary for childish behavior exhibited by children during their lessons.
Consider the imbalance of the growing divorce rates amongst Muslim households.
Consider the imbalance of an outwardly religious man “legally” divorcing his spouse so that they can fraudulently claim social security payments as two separate individuals, all the while claiming to be a “religious” marriage.
Consider the imbalance of young adults finding comfort in intoxication and love on the streets.
Consider the imbalance of young adults making sense of nonsense calls to riotous anarchy in the name of the Prophet .
When the ground shifts with trial and Fitnah, the pursuit of justice in our personal dealings brings balance to our broad spectrum of life.
The Prophet declares unequivocally, “None of you truly believes until he wants for his brother what he wants for himself.” (Agreed upon) The masters of the past understood this to mean, as Imam An-Nawawi states, “It is preferred to understand this in the sense of universal brotherhood, so that it includes the non-Muslim and Muslim.” The Love you have, the faith you hold, the wealth you possess, the success you earn, the happiness you feel – all and more, you wish for others to receive as you have enjoyed;
“You who believe, be steadfast in your devotion to Allah and bear witness impartially: Do not let hatred of others lead you away from justice, but adhere to justice, for that is closer to awareness of Allah. Be mindful of Allah: Allah is well aware of all that you do.”
[Surah Al-Maaidah, 8]
Within all of us is the capacity to go too far, too quick, too deep, and too literal. Within all of us is the capacity to do too little, too late, too shallow and too liberal:
“O mankind, what has deceived you concerning your Lord, the Generous, Who created you, proportioned you, and balanced you?”
[Surah Al-Infitar, 6-7]
Our natural inclination, Fitrah, is balance. Excess or negligence pulls us from that straightened, upright Fitrah. Every day of our life, in our prayer we ask Allāh to bless us with balance.
“(O Allah) Set us on the Straight Path – Sirat al-Mustaqeem.”
[Surah Al-Fatihaa, 6]
“It is Allah who has sent down the Book in truth and [also] the balance. And what will make you perceive? Perhaps the Hour is near.”
[Surah Ash-Shuraa, 17]
[Surah Al-Mu’minoon, 103]
“Except those who repent, believe, and do good deeds: God will change the evil deeds of such people into good ones. He is most forgiving, most merciful.” [Surah Al-Furqaan: Ayat 70]
Imam al-Ghazali said, “If the person you were unjust to passes away or becomes otherwise unreachable to seek his pardon, you must increase in good deeds until you have performed an amount that you believe would be sufficient for the oppressed individual to take away from you on the Day of Judgment and that you would still have enough left over to ensure your OWN salvation.”
Equality:
Good and evil can never be made equal, light and dark are not the same and truth is distinguishable from falsehood.
It may seem strange but the solution to combating hate is love, tolerance and forgiveness. Muslims are taught to resist aggression with a degree lesser than what was received, not out of weakness or inability, rather due to humility and the pursuit of peace.
Allāh commands:
“Good and evil cannot be equal. [Prophet], repel evil with what is better and your enemy will become as close as an old and valued friend.”
[ Surah Fussilat: Ayat 34]
Allāh commands:
“And when you are greeted with a greeting, greet [in return] with one better than it or [at least] return it [in a like manner].”
[Surah An-Nisa, 86]
History records that Fudalah ibn ‘Umair, one of the chieftains of Quraish, pledged himself to assassinating the Prophet , even if it meant his own death.
During the conquest of Mecca, the Prophet began his Tawaf (circling) of the Ka’bah. Fudalah thought that in all the clamor he could conceal a poisoned dagger and approach the Prophet and none would be the wiser. As Fudalah began his approach , the Prophet stopped and turned and faced Fudalah and addressed him from a distance, “O Fudalah, what are you plotting within yourself?” Fudalah said “I am here in pursuit of righteousness.”
The Prophet continued and Fudalah began to draw closer still. Once again the Prophet asked “O Fudalah, what are you plotting within yourself?” Fudalah again said, “I am here in pursuit of righteousness.” The Prophet smiled and continued. Soon, Fudalah was in striking range, but the Prophet of Mercy struck first.
The Prophet placed his noble hand on Fudalah’s chest. The heart beneath was full of hatred and evil intent. The Prophet reached out in love, forgiveness and mercy. Amongst 10,000 warriors at the conquest of Makkah, the Prophet did not order Fudalah dispatched. He didn’t ask the guards to bar him and keep him at bay. He acted in love and assurance.
Fudalah understood that his life had been spared and that Muhammad had wanted him harm, it would have been ordered. He said, “When he placed his hand on my chest, there was no one in the world I hated more than he. Yet, by Allāh, by the time he lifted his hand, there was no one in the world more beloved to me than he.”
A Muslim seeks to heal rather than excise, to replenish rather than begin anew, to sow rather than wander further and further to gather.
A Muslim gives full measure and weighs all matters with fairness seeking balance. That results in good for all, as Allāh says:
“And give full measure when you measure, and weigh with an even balance. That is the best [way to produce the] best result.”
[Surah Al-Isra, 35]
Spiritual development or the pursuit of Ihsan perfection is the catalyst for harmony which is balance in all that surrounds us.
The one who follows the Sunnah is a teacher by vivid example. They work hard at whatever task is at hand, all the while encouraging those around them. They simplify and resolve problems. They listen more than they speak and when they are addressed, they pay attention. Their home life in private is full of worship that is hidden from the eyes of others who would admire them if they knew. They are full of belief and are certain of their Lord.
Belief with unwavering sincerity that is directed towards earning Allāh’s pleasure alone, proven through righteous deeds with purity of Heart is the way to Paradise. You and I will never earn Jannah. We cannot pray enough, fast enough or be charitable enough to EARN eternal comfort. Our deeds are a symbol of our faith in the pursuit of Allāh’s Mercy, which results in Paradise;
ٱلرَّحْمَـٰنُ ١عَلَّمَ ٱلْقُرْءَانَ ٢خَلَقَ ٱلْإِنسَـٰنَ ٣عَلَّمَهُ ٱلْبَيَانَ ٤ٱلشَّمْسُ وَٱلْقَمَرُ بِحُسْبَانٍۢ ٥وَٱلنَّجْمُ وَٱلشَّجَرُ يَسْجُدَانِ ٦وَٱلسَّمَآءَ رَفَعَهَا وَوَضَعَ ٱلْمِيزَانَ ٧أَلَّا تَطْغَوْا۟ فِى ٱلْمِيزَانِ ٨وَأَقِيمُوا۟ ٱلْوَزْنَ بِٱلْقِسْطِ وَلَا تُخْسِرُوا۟ ٱلْمِيزَانَ ٩وَٱلْأَرْضَ وَضَعَهَا لِلْأَنَامِ ١٠
“It is the Lord of Mercy who taught the Quran. He created man and taught him to communicate. The sun and the moon follow their calculated courses; the plants and the trees submit to His designs; He has raised up the sky. He has set the balance so that you may not exceed in the balance: weigh with justice and do not fall short in the balance.”
[Surah Ar-Rahman, 1 – 10]
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